Awesome Status Updates just for YOU!

Get tons of Comments & Likes by posting these awesome status updates for Facebook…

Awesome Status Updates:

  • I am dark and handsome. When it’s dark, I’m handsome. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.
  • Don’t hate yourself in the morning. Sleep till noon.
  • If a genie ever gives me three wishes, goodbye Kardashians.
  • I’m a perfectionist when it comes to being imperfect.
  • IMAGINE if Facebook, Twitter, and msn all broke at the same time. We might have to actually get lives. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • “I’m sooo wasted,” said My Opportunities.
  • That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and you end up walking in the same direction.
  • My girlfriend says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
  • This morning’s commute could have used more FAST and less FURIOUS.
  • I won’t take a bullet for ANYONE because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move.
  • I have Restless Life Syndrome.
  • What if there were no hypothetical questions? (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • WARNING: Asking people about their weekend may result in them telling you about it.
  • You don’t have to like me. I’m not a Facebook status.

Link: Slightly Older (but still funny) Status Updates

Lizard eyes go CRAZY…

Lizards eyes go CRAZY.

Don’t stare at me with those googly eyes!

Ladies and Gentlemen the ULTIMATE Grocery Bagger:


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