Get tons of Comments & Likes by posting these awesome status updates for Facebook…
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I am dark and handsome. When it’s dark, I’m handsome. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
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Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.
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Don’t hate yourself in the morning. Sleep till noon.
- If a genie ever gives me three wishes, goodbye Kardashians.
- I’m a perfectionist when it comes to being imperfect.
- IMAGINE if Facebook, Twitter, and msn all broke at the same time. We might have to actually get lives. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- “I’m sooo wasted,” said My Opportunities.
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That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and you end up walking in the same direction.
- My girlfriend says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
- This morning’s commute could have used more FAST and less FURIOUS.
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I won’t take a bullet for ANYONE because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move.
- I have Restless Life Syndrome.
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What if there were no hypothetical questions? (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
- WARNING: Asking people about their weekend may result in them telling you about it.
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You don’t have to like me. I’m not a Facebook status.
Link: Slightly Older (but still funny) Status Updates
Lizard eyes go CRAZY…
Don’t stare at me with those googly eyes!
Ladies and Gentlemen the ULTIMATE Grocery Bagger:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS65yyw-zec[/youtube]
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