Kitty on Bike, Baby Eats Strawberries, & Funny Status Updates

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Funny Status Updates:

  • When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • When I say “wow, that’s crazy”, 99 percent of the time, it means I haven’t been listening to a word of your conversation.
  • It doesn’t matter if you win or lose.. until you lose.
  • Just when you think you’ve finally hit the bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.
  • I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
  • A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.
  • How is it that the women on Bridezillas can find someone to marry them while I can’t even get a date?
  • People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • To hate a person is a waste; half the people you hate don’t care, and the other half don’t know.
  • A seafood diet is the best: whenever you see food, eat it.
  • I hate it when people lie, especially when you know the truth about what they are lying about.
  • I have a feeling these birds wouldn’t be so angry if we’d stop slingshotting them thru the air.
  • Facebook: making stalkers life easier since February 2004
  • Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?
  • Nudist Camp sign : Sorry, Clothed for Winter.
  • I hate when I’m the only person trying to keep a conversation alive.
  • I didn’t use to finish sentences, but now I
  • Sex burns up 350 calories each time. Please help me, I’m on a diet.
  • You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • What do you call a male ladybug?

Just chillin’ outside the liquor store….

Cat chillin' on bike.

Bonus Funny Picture: Senior Picture Wins.

Baby eating strawberry for the first time…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnnrIImACTU[/youtube]

How cute!  Post that one on your Facebook wall and watch all the comments/likes roll in.

Need more funny statuses, silly pics, and awesome videos?  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!