15 Awesome Status Updates for Facebook!

Happy Monday!  Make all your FB Friends comment and like on your statuses by posting these…

Funny Facebook Status updates:

  1. I wish that Hallmark would make a card that says, “Sorry, what was your name again?” (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  2. My wife and I are getting along great at the moment. She’s not home.
  3. He once ran a marathon backwards, just to see what second place looked like. He’s the most interesting man in the world!
  4. Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
  5. Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched “ninjas”. The computer told me “Ninjas cannot be found”. Well played, ninjas, well played. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  7. Everyone has that one little secret, that no one, not even your best friend, knows about you.
  8. We are shaped by what we love, especially dessert.
  9. The wife and I just got divorced. We split the house. I got the outside.
  10. This is a day for firm decisions ! …Or is it ?
  11. The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
  12. Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for life. Give an octopus nunchuks, no one’s eating fish ever again. (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  13. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
  14. Tact is the ability to close your mouth before somebody else wants to.
  15. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

Funny Picture to Post:

Three Little Pigs Father

Poor father :/

Funny Video to Post:


Love us some FreddieW!

Bonus Video: Magic Chat Roulette

If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!