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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- Without Facebook, I probably wouldn’t have wished you a happy birthday. (From our JUST UPDATED and really awesome: 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
- When people say “I’m not getting any younger!” I wonder what other basic life concepts they just learned.
- I just got carded at Forever 21. This is crap!
- If your fountain soda machine is self serve, I’m just going to assume I get unlimited refills.
- If ‘Guns don’t kill people, people kill people’, does that mean toasters don’t toast toast, toast toast toast?
- Some people should come with subtitles. ツ (Source: 16k+ Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- The person who says he trusts no one should include himself.
- Writing. Like. This. Doesn’t. Make. Your. Point. Any. Stronger. It. Makes. It. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has. Asthma.
- The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
- When you’re asked “How are you?” and you respond with anything but “good” it always becomes awkward
Sign seen in a bar: “Those drinking to forget please pay in advance.”
Women and tax forms have a lot in common…Men love to cheat on them.
- Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant.
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought, what good would that do?
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push. (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )
- Fact: If you sneak away to fart loudly in private and get caught by some innocent person walking by, you have to now hate that person.
- Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
Awesome LA Times Article: Women who post lots of photos of themselves on Facebook value appearance, need attention, study finds
Funny Picture to Post:
Funny Video for your Facebook Profile:
Next time you think this is happening to you at the grocery store, you’re probably on a hidden camera!
Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!