Daily Status Updates that will get you COMMENTS & LIKES!

Welcome back to the #1 Status Update website. Updated daily with funny status updates for your Facebook profile…

Funny Statuses:

  • Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? (Courtesy of our ★★★★ Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★)
  • I love watching two girls meet each other. It’s easily the most fake thing I have ever seen.
  • I do ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
  • If you can’t get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.
  • Wealthy people miss one of life’s greatest thrills…making the last car payment.
  • Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
  • Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.
  • I could talk about myself for hours. But the second someone asks me to tell them a little bit about myself? I can’t even remember my name.
  • I don’t know what I’d do without Facebook. Probably my work. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
  • Madness has no purpose or reason; but it may have a goal.
  • The world is round, so it has no point.
  • What’s another word for thesaurus? (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Status of the Day:

Funny Osama Bin Laden Status Update

Funny Video for Facebook:


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