Monday is better on Facebook by posting these…
Funny Status Updates:
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I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
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Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
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Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
- I have a hard time taking Katy Perry seriously because, whenever she sings about love, she’s singing about Russell Brand.
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Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
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There’s an old proverb that says pretty much whatever you want it to.
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I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
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Forget the “poke” button… I want a “Punch someone in the face so they know how dumb they really are” button.
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Jail..the government’s way of sending you to your room.
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Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
- Thinks that if you status says “Its complicated” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “single” 😀
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The biggest difference between my wife and a bear is that sometimes, if I play dead, the bear will leave me alone.
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Marriage changes passion…suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
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She: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that’s vanity? He: No. I think that’s imagination. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
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Google turned 12 this year, so now we have 1 more year to use it before it turns into a teenager and wont answer anything!
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Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns…
Ever notice how all women’s problems begin with men?
New Rapture Billboard:
That was rapture was Awkward wasn’t it? Hey… at least it wasn’t the end of the world.
Puppy to Adult in 40 seconds:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld7F-MBNesE[/youtube]
Need more funny statuses, silly pics, and awesome videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!
