Welcome back! Make your Facebook friends revel in your wittiness by posting these…
15 Epic Status Updates:
- I can’t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
- I hope I never meet the girl of my dreams. She’s seen me in a lot of awkward situations.
- Rule #0 of the Internet: Nothing you put online, even for a second, can ever be taken down. Drink that in and know it.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
- Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- I wonder if the first person to ever pop corn thought they were under attack.
- I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- Sometimes I make statements in the tone of a question?
- When impersonating a coworker, I like to add a little extra dumb to their voice.
- I hate three things in this world: math
- ME: “Whoa. Put a combo on that meat locker.” HIM: “Huh?” ME: “Your fly is down, idiot.”
If it’s free, it’s advice; If you pay for it, it’s counseling; If you can use either one, it’s a miracle !
- Some people are wise, and some, otherwise. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
- Don’t forget how much dust you’re inhaling all the time everywhere.
Bonus Status of Wisdom: The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don’t have.
SPOTTED: Angry Bird IRL
President Obamas Car Get’s Stuck:
You thought your car troubles were bad? What do you do when your Presidential 2 ton limo-tank gets stuck on a curb?
Bonus Video: Girl rocks “Look at Me Now” by Chris Brown.
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