Angry Birds, Obama gets Stuck, and 15 Epic Status Updates

Welcome back! Make your Facebook friends revel in your wittiness by posting these…

15 Epic Status Updates:

  1. I can’t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. I hope I never meet the girl of my dreams. She’s seen me in a lot of awkward situations.
  3. Rule #0 of the Internet: Nothing you put online, even for a second, can ever be taken down. Drink that in and know it.
  4. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
  5. Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
  6. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
  7. I wonder if the first person to ever pop corn thought they were under attack.
  8. I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  9. Sometimes I make statements in the tone of a question?
  10. When impersonating a coworker, I like to add a little extra dumb to their voice.
  11. I hate three things in this world: math
  12. ME: “Whoa. Put a combo on that meat locker.” HIM: “Huh?” ME: “Your fly is down, idiot.”
  13. If it’s free, it’s advice; If you pay for it, it’s counseling; If you can use either one, it’s a miracle !
  14. Some people are wise, and some, otherwise. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  15. Don’t forget how much dust you’re inhaling all the time everywhere.

Bonus Status of Wisdom: The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don’t have.


Angry Birds IRL

President Obamas Car Get’s Stuck:


You thought your car troubles were bad? What do you do when your Presidential 2 ton limo-tank gets stuck on a curb?

Bonus Video: Girl rocks “Look at Me Now” by Chris Brown.

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