Make your Facebook Friends weekend by posting these…
Awesome Status Updates:
- So many people on Facebook “Like” everything but grammar. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
- The cold hard truth is that if you have a job that requires a name tag, I’ll never give a crap what your name is.
- Children are the gift that keeps on taking.
- Ronald McDonald has to retire because he is making kids fat? Really? So kids are driving themselves to McDonald’s now?
- Just denied 47 requests to play FarmVille, apparently I need new friends.
- It’s 2011 and we’re not driving dragons? The future sickens me.
- Unknown numbers calling and leaving 3 seconds of silence as a voicemail is the greatest unsolved mystery of my life. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
Relationships don’t need promises, terms, and conditions. It just needs two wonderful people; one who can trust and one who can understand.
- “I made six figures last year.” – Extremely lazy G.I. Joe employee.
- Walmart: because going to Target requires a shower.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
- …and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve.
Feel Good Status of the Day: Life is like a rollercoaster. You can either scream everytime you hit a bump, or you can throw your hands up & enjoy the ride!
Talking Animals Video:
That one will have all your Facebook Friends ROFL!
Bonus Status Update: I don’t usually pick up hitchhikers but this poor guy looks like he’s running late to hockey practice. He already has his mask on.
Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!