Score more likes, share these… Witty Facebook Statuses: If you really want people to notice you, be a typo. Home is where the pants aren’t. That awkward moment when you get really mad at someone in real life because of something they did to you in a dream. We all have chapters, in our lives, […]
Witty Facebook Statuses
Hawk Hello, The ROCK, and Witty Status Updates
Score more likes, share these… Witty Facebook Status Updates: The awkward moment when you’re in the car and accidentally make eye contact with people in the car next to you. Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that.” I’m going to start wearing Summer’s Eve as a cologne. The […]
Pro Footballers vs Kids, Realization KittEh, and Witty Facebook Statuses
Make your way through Wednesday, share some… Witty Facebook Statuses: That awkward moment when you’re in super deep thought. Then 4 minutes later you realize you’re staring directly at someone. Due tomorrow, do tomorrow. I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me. Ask yourself what you would do for one more day with […]
Stunned KittEh, Whale Meeting, and Witty Facebook Statuses
Score more likes, share these… Witty Facebook Statuses: You can measure a person’s intelligence by the number of times they get back with their ex. I know I’m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get. If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t […]
Men Vs. Women, News Reporting, and Witty Status Updates
Happy Monday, Share these… Witty Facebook Status Updates: Laughing is the best medicine. But if you’re laughing for no reason, you need medicine. Roses are red… Violets are red.. Tulips are red… Bushes are red… Trees are red… Oh god my gardens on fire! PHYSICS: It’s the science where you use extremely long and complicated […]
Best Friends, Guiltiest Walk Ever, & Witty Statuses
Score more likes, share these… Witty Facebook Statuses: You call it “Road Rage”, but I call it “Aggressively maneuvering around idiots who don’t know how to drive”. Self-control is saying “that’s enough episodes for tonight.” Looking at you… Netflix! I can be a pretty big asshole when I’m hungry. You never know how dirty a […]