Make your way through Wednesday, share some…
Witty Facebook Statuses:
- That awkward moment when you’re in super deep thought. Then 4 minutes later you realize you’re staring directly at someone.
- Due tomorrow, do tomorrow.
- I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.
- Ask yourself what you would do for one more day with the ones you’ve lost and then do those things for the ones you still have.
- Let me drink about it and get back to you.
- No I do not mean “duck,” autocorrect.
- Let’s start a charity where we give cats to people who say goodnight to social networking sites.
- If you’re my ex, don’t speak to my friends or family. They broke up with your ass too.
- Wednesday, you’d be a lot cooler if you were Friday night.
- Hey dude who flipped me off in the Subway parking lot for honking at you, you left your dinner on top of your car.
- Chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise.
- My wife wrote an email to me saying she was concerned that we have communications issues. I immediately sent an IM asking her to clarify. She messaged me on Facebook saying not to worry but that sometimes we’re not as connected as she’d like. I tweeted her that I love her more than anything. She texted me that she loves me too and was tired after a long day of work. So I leaned over and kissed her good night.
- My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn’t like it when I use other toothpastes.
- I arrived late to work today. Boss Yells “You should of been here at 8:00!” I reply: “Why? what happened at 8:00?” apparently…….. that was not the answer he was looking for.
- Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
- Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “northwest.”
- You’re the type of guy I’d make a sandwich for.
- Dear Pringles……..I am no longer a child, nor do I have tiny hands, so please make your tube of deliciousness just a bit wider. thanks.
- Every time I use a public bathroom, one thought occurs…”Seriously? This many people have Sharpies on them at all times?”
- Unicorns are really just weaponized ponies.
I feel so violated 😛
2 Pro Football Players vs. 50 Kids:
WOW! That was epic!!! Those kids look like they’re having so much fun.