Score more likes, share these…
Witty Facebook Statuses:
- You call it “Road Rage”, but I call it “Aggressively maneuvering around idiots who don’t know how to drive”.
- Self-control is saying “that’s enough episodes for tonight.” Looking at you… Netflix!
- I can be a pretty big asshole when I’m hungry.
- You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are…until you hear a child sing them.
- Apparently “some assembly required” is IKEA for “here’s a pine tree, pocket knife and some nails.”
- If Facebooking was a job I’d be rich.
- If you’re still single, it’s because God is not ready to share you yet.
- Laying in bed. Don’t want to move. Someone go pee for me.
- If you’re gonna flip out on your Facebook, don’t delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
- Thanks confirmation email telling me I’ve successfully unsubscribed from your emails.
- I’m the kind of guy who dreams about naps while I’m asleep.
- It’s all fun and games until you’re old.
- Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
- Taking your bra off at the end of a super long day is quite possibly one of best feelings ever.
- Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single”.
- The earth is dangerous, we need to go back to Mars.
- Actually Spiderman is a web designer.
- I don’t know why I love, but I always know why I hate.
- Fireman should be made of fire if snowman is made of snow.
- “You are probably a 30-year old fat drunk dude with nothing better to do than play video games” – An incredibly correct kid on Xbox Live
Best Friends Cat + Dog!
Those two are so cute!
Guiltiest Walk Ever…
Dat doggie did somezing NAUGHTY! Can you tell?