Score more likes, share one of these… 20 Great Facebook Status Updates: I don’t think it’s a coincidence that “morning” and “mourning” sound the same… Before calling me, ask yourself, “Is this textable?” LIFE HACK: You literally don’t have to be friends with people you don’t like. *texts back 6 weeks later* sorry I fell […]
Great Facebook Status Updates
Christmas Traffic Stop, Appreciating Music, and Great Facebook Status Updates
Make your friends laugh, share one of these… 20 Great Facebook Status Updates: Are the weeks getting longer? How I talk: 25% swearing 25% sarcasm 50% a combination of both How much whiskey goes into cookies? I’m new to this whole baking thing. I just asked my 8 year old to quit yelling and he […]
Spider iPhone Prank, Bird Poop, and Great Facebook Status Updates
Help your friends get over humpday, share one of these… 20 Great Facebook Status Updates: I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child. That awkward moment when you have to get over someone you never even dated. My brain has too many tabs open. I’m not interested […]
Meow Back, Racing Fan, and 20 Great Facebook Status Updates
Make someones Thursday, share one of these… 20 Great Facebook Status Updates: NEW COMMANDMENT: Thou shalt not start Christmas advertising when it is still October. Shit’s spiraling out of control and I’m all like “wheeeee.” Your hair turns white when you get old for evolutionary reasons. Predators leave you alone if they think you’re a […]
Beetle Juice, Skype Chat, and Great Status Updates
Step your status game up, share these… Great Facebook Status Updates: Miley can’t stop, won’t stop, but needs to stop. Justin Timberlake should’ve won an award for the only person to make it out of Disney without a drug problem. Kanye should’ve interrupted Miley’s performance to say that Beyonce’s ass would look better in those […]
Best Dog Tricks, Advice Turtle, & Great Status Updates
Make your weekend more interesting, share one of these… 20 Great Facebook Status Updates: I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back. That awkward moment when you’re way more excited than little kids are to watch Finding Dory. If Tetris has […]