Spider iPhone Prank, Bird Poop, and Great Facebook Status Updates

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Help your friends get over humpday, share one of these…

20 Great Facebook Status Updates:

I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child.
That awkward moment when you have to get over someone you never even dated.
My brain has too many tabs open.
I’m not interested in the PG-version of life.
IF I’m not insulting you daily, it means I don’t like you.
My favorite part of the day is when I get to go to bed.
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight AFTER eating 6 cookies.
When you take off your iPhone case and it feels like you’re holding a newborn.
7:30AM ~ *wakes up*
7:33AM ~ “this is the worst day of my life”
I’m eating just in case i get hungry later
You’re a pain in the ass, but damnit, you’re my pain in the ass.
Nothing is more terrifying than making eye contact with the guy running that mall kiosk.
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey. #SilverLining
Office thermostats only have 2 settings: hell fire and hypothermia.
I’d like to retract that statement I made a few weeks back about wanting it to get cold.
I’ve come to the realization that the trash goes out more than I do.
“WHO THE F*CK TOOK MY…..oh here it is.”
That awkward moment when you’re laying in bed and can’t decide if it’s worth the effort to get up to go to the bathroom.
Every single person on the planet has the reflexes of a superhero if you start scrolling through their photos while holding their phone.
Who needs a social life when you have Netflix and a fridge full of food?