Robert Mugabe Comes In Like A Wrecking Ball 20 Funny Statuses: Don`t you know it`s rude to talk while I`m interrupting? I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things. Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you […]
20 Cool Status Updates
Bug Vacuum, 20 Funny Statuses, Ryan Reynolds Builds A Crib
Bug Vacuum Where have you been all of my life? 20 Funny Statuses: You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. Sometimes, not remembering may be better. Don’t play stupid with me… I’m better at it! Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% […]
Edna Made Knows Best, 20 Funny Statuses, Jimmy Fallon’s Good Burger
Edna Made Knows Best Madonna should’ve listened to Edna Made! 20 Funny Statuses: If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They […]
Trust Fall, 20 Funny Statuses, Missing: Stapler
Trust Fall! Share if you’ve ever had a friend trust fall on you! 20 Funny Statuses: Dear Facebook, Please stop asking me what’s on my mind. I’m gonna get myself in trouble if I keep spilling my guts to you. My dreams are bigger than my wallet, but I’ll find a way I didn’t say […]
Safety First, 20 Statuses, Ellen Scares Eric Stonestreet
Safety First Safety is obviously her main concern. 20 Funny Statuses: Trying to finish a dream by going back to sleep! Looking at your best friend and laughing uncontrollably for no reason When you text someone to say you are outside their house instead of knocking. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight! […]
Good News, 20 Statuses, Swiper No Swiping
Trying to make small talk.. 20 Funny Status: People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world. There’s no such thing as too old for Disney. Time for a box o’ wine and a crazy straw my life is falling apart faster than a nature valley granola bar I love it when […]