Trust Fall, 20 Funny Statuses, Missing: Stapler

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Share if you’ve ever had a friend trust fall on you!

Dear Facebook, Please stop asking me what’s on my mind. I’m gonna get myself in trouble if I keep spilling my guts to you.
My dreams are bigger than my wallet, but I’ll find a way
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
Why is it called ‘after dark’ when it really is ‘after light’?
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don’t have the film.
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
There are three sides of an argument — your side, my side and the right side.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!