Edna Made Knows Best, 20 Funny Statuses, Jimmy Fallon’s Good Burger

FunnyStatus Team

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Edna Made Knows Best

Madonna should’ve listened to Edna Made!

20 Funny Statuses:

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere: ‘Hold my purse’
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Don’t let your mind wander, Its too little to be let out alone.
I’d call you a tool, but even THEY serve a purpose.
Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy.
Facebook is like a fridge. When you’re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there’s anything good in it
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
I may be old enough to know better, but I am STILL young enough to DO IT..
My life, My choices, My mistakes, My lessons, Not your business.
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
I have finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, “for extra volume and body.”