Where have you been all of my life?
20 Funny Statuses:
- You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
- Sometimes, not remembering may be better.
- Don’t play stupid with me… I’m better at it!
- Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
- I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
- Insert coin to view my status message
- I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- I had a life once. Now I have an internet connection and a Mac book.
- The ridiculous email addresses you make when your 8 and continue to use.
- Dear internet, Please stop being so awesome. I need sleep.
- Have you ever had a fly or a small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor??
- That awkward moment when someone`s staring at your keyboard while you`re typing your password.
- The 3 most common lies on the internet: 1. I have read and agree to the terms of service 2. Status: offline. 3. Yes, I am over 18 years old.
- If I call you and you don’t answer, I will sing on your voicemail.
- I wish the Microsoft Paperclip would just pop up when I’m making a questionable decision for my life.
- There should be an “undo” button in an elevator for when you accidentally hit the wrong floor.
- My internet is so slow, it would be faster to just drive to Google’s headquarters and ask them this shit in person.
- Where do all the characters go that you type on the keyboard before you realize the cursor isn’t in the box?
- An Apple a day keeps Windows away.
- Taking one last sip of my drink right before leaving a restaurant.
Ryan Reynolds Builds A Crib
Watch Ryan Reynolds “assemble” an Ikea crib like a boss.
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