Robert Mugabe Comes In Like A Wrecking Ball, 20 Funny Statuses, Ready-Set-Burn Out

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Robert Mugabe Comes In Like A Wrecking Ball

Robert Mugabe fall wrecking ball

20 Funny Statuses:

  1. Don`t you know it`s rude to talk while I`m interrupting?
  2. I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.
  3. Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
  4. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
  5. I love Costco. You don’t go there thinking you’re gonna buy a 12-pack of watermelons but you’ll probably leave with one.
  6. Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
  7. It’s amazing the things I can remember when I don’t need to remember anything.
  8. Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming
  9. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
  10. Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
  11. I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
  12. Gym Update: Not there.
  13. If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
  14. I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
  15. I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get…well you know…Oreos.
  16. My favorite part of the day? The food part.
  17. I suffer from premature procrastination. It’s when you procrastinate before even receiving a task.
  18. Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit? Asking for a friend.
  19. As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER… USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN…
  20. Whenever you’re feeling down and in the dumps, just remember…the rest of us have been feeling that way about you too!

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Ready-Set-Burn Out

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