Yelp Humor, Mustache Club, & 20 Facebook Statuses

Awesome statuses just for you…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

1. If we put pictures of lost kids on beer cans instead of milk cartons, we’d find them in about 15 minutes. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
2. I would suggest a battle of wits but I suspect you’re low on ammunition.
3. R2D2’s headstone: “Rust In Peace”
4. Procrastinators! The leaders of tomorrow.
5. I hit the control key but I’m still not in control.
6. The Beach: “How you dune?” The Ocean: “Swell!”
7. I’m thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
8. In the restaurant window: “Eat now – Pay waiter.”
9. It’s time to stop making the same old mistakes in your life. Get creative. Make some new ones. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
10. Be patient. The longer you wait for me, the sooner I will arrive.
11. You say ear wax. I say melting brain.
12. I’d appreciate materialism more if I had money.
13. Some things are better left unsaid … like those times you criticize me.
14. I’m so lonely I bought a plane ticket just for the airport pat down.
15. A surprise party is a great way to show your girlfriend how awesome you are at lying to her face.
16. My credit card company called. They want me to leave home without it.
17. Don’t listen to their foolishness. Listen to mine!
18. If you’re not part of the solution, you must be a consultant.
19. Claiming a product promotes weight loss when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
20. When they offer you “instant credit”, don’t they really mean “instant debt”?

Yelp Humor, would not recommend:

The HandleBar Mustache Club:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKcH9dXkzR4[/youtube]

Those look like a fine bunch. Post that on your Facebook wall for some interesting commentary from your FB Friends.