Score more likes, share these…
Hilarious Facebook Status:
- It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for……. “Your order’s ready.”
- It’s amazing how many people are allergic to gluten, peanuts, and facts.
- If you’re at a party and people start chanting your name, you’re obligated to do anything they want you to do.
- True love is when they look at you, see you’re batshit insane, and love you anyway.
- If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely!!
- The way to a girl’s heart is presents. The way to a woman’s heart is presence.
- If you want your wife or girlfriend to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
- Humour is of two types – below the belt and above the forehead.
- Your voicemail will be ignored in the order in which it was received. Beep.
- I am the undefeated champion of this”smooshing-down-the-garbage-so-I-don’t-have-to-take-it-out-for-another-day” game.
- Before you decide to spend less time on social media, make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
- It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
- No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
- How about a restaurant where the minute you walk in you lose cell service and your camera app is disabled we’ll call it “ENJOY YOUR LIVES”
- If you’re only 18, please don’t post philosophy and proverb verbiage based on your first love and the difficulty of your inexperienced life.
- Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
- Trying to argue via text is like Being Italian and talking with handcuffs on.
- Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
- Since nobody reads newspapers anymore I feel I should periodically walk to the end of my driveway in my bathrobe and read my iPad.
- If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.
Dog Doesn’t Like Being Up Early…
I totally know the feeling! Share if you do too.
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