Goat Riding a Guy Riding a Bike, Dancing Baby, and Witty Statuses

Some shareable content to make your Monday fun again…

15 Really Witty Facebook Statuses:

  1. If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
  2. You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
  3. Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.
  4. You do not scare me ugly little black french fry.
  5. According to astronomy, whenever you wish upon a star, you’re actually a few million years late. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.
  6. I’ve never had angry sex. I’m always happy and quite surprised that it is actually happening.
  7. You don’t know fear until you hear someone cough underneath your bed.
  8. This YouTube comment section looks like a good place to start an argument with complete strangers.
  9. How can I go to sleep when this movie I’ve seen 70 times just started?
  10. I don’t hate anyone like I hate the person who waits for me outside the bathroom to finish.
  11. It’s 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
  12. I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
  13. Fate is when you find something you were never looking for and realize its everything you never knew you wanted.
  14. On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
  15. This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Baby Leads a Dance Class:

Bravo! That is one amazing teacher 🙂 Share if you enjoyed!

Goat Riding a Guy Riding a Bike (Video):

That was exactly what I was expecting and it was exactly as hilarious as I thought it would be.

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