Unbelievable Street-performer, Epic Lobster, and Awesome Status Updates

Monday Fun Time, Share these…

20 Awesome Facebook Status Updates:

  1. If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.
  2. I bet wrecking ball operators are some of the happiest people in the world.
  3. “I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others’ lives sounds fun!” – How I got out of jury duty
  4. Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
  5. If I can see you, you’ve invaded my personal space.
  6. No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers.
  7. The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
  8. World Cup soccer motto: “Oooh, almost!”
  9. My car doesn’t have a passenger airbag but don’t worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you.
  10. Cereal is an acceptable meal at all times of the day.
  11. Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?
  12. I think eating is my kind of sport.
  13. Remember when we all died in 2012?
  14. When a guy texts a girl “hey stranger”, what he really means is “I’ve recently thought about trying to get in your pants again.”
  15. I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching ‘Night at the Roxbury.’ “Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?”
  16. Facebook needs a button that’s the equivalent of kicking someone under the table to stop them from making a fool of themselves.
  17. Why do I still think that anyone born after 2000 is 4 years old?
  18. If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts…it would be very creepy.
  19. I enjoy quaint, old-fashioned customs like being nice to people.
  20. I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Lobster in a bucket looks like a gigantic monster on a metallic planet, and the waterdrops look like stars…

Well done, Epic Lobster 🙂

Unbelievable Street-Performer…


His voice control is uncanny! I’m sure we’ll see him on the next “France Has Talent” show 🙂 Share with your friends if you’d like.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.