Monday Fun Time, Share these…
20 Awesome Facebook Status Updates:
- If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.
- I bet wrecking ball operators are some of the happiest people in the world.
- “I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others’ lives sounds fun!” – How I got out of jury duty
- Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
- If I can see you, you’ve invaded my personal space.
- No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers.
- The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
- World Cup soccer motto: “Oooh, almost!”
- My car doesn’t have a passenger airbag but don’t worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you.
- Cereal is an acceptable meal at all times of the day.
- Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?
- I think eating is my kind of sport.
- Remember when we all died in 2012?
- When a guy texts a girl “hey stranger”, what he really means is “I’ve recently thought about trying to get in your pants again.”
- I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching ‘Night at the Roxbury.’ “Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?”
- Facebook needs a button that’s the equivalent of kicking someone under the table to stop them from making a fool of themselves.
- Why do I still think that anyone born after 2000 is 4 years old?
- If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts…it would be very creepy.
- I enjoy quaint, old-fashioned customs like being nice to people.
- I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.
Lobster in a bucket looks like a gigantic monster on a metallic planet, and the waterdrops look like stars…
Well done, Epic Lobster 🙂
His voice control is uncanny! I’m sure we’ll see him on the next “France Has Talent” show 🙂 Share with your friends if you’d like.