Make your weekend last longer, share these…
20 Best Weekend Facebook Status Updates:
- In wine there is truth.
In beer there is strength.
In water there is bacteria.
- I’m smart, but not “learn from my mistakes” smart.
- I don’t see any reason why boxed wine shouldn’t come with a little straw stuck to the side.
- Wearing an outfit you like can make a day 10x better.
- I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullshit.
- Do you ever start writing a status and halfway through you’re just like “nah”
- The biggest lie I’ve ever told myself is that I’m going to shower in 5 minutes.
- Girls literally find out everything and sometimes it’s just an accident like they don’t even need to try.
- The best way to die: Clint Eastwood shooting you while Morgan Freeman narrates it.
- Vodka is made from potatoes, potatoes are vegetables, and vegetables are good for you. You’re welcome…
- Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
- Sometimes a person is completely out of the picture but you just can’t let go of the frame.
- I hate when I’m set on running a yellow light and the person in front of me chickens out.
- Never trust a married guys opinion of who’s hot. It’s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
- Sexy is when a woman is hot enough to flaunt it but chooses not to.
- Whenever I’m bored I stop a stranger and ask “where am I?” and whatever they say I runaway screaming “Hahaha I’m a genius! I can teleport!”
- The secret to a successful lemonade stand is vodka.
- If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger.
- When asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
- Soccer would be much more interesting if the players had elbow/knee pads with 2 inch spikes on them.
Sooooo, be honest… How long did you watch that for???
Dog loses his mind eating a Lemon…
He whips his head back and forth!