Hypnotic, Dog Eats Lemon, and 20 Best Weekend Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share these…

20 Best Weekend Facebook Status Updates:

  1. In wine there is truth.
    In beer there is strength.
    In water there is bacteria.
  2. I’m smart, but not “learn from my mistakes” smart.
  3. I don’t see any reason why boxed wine shouldn’t come with a little straw stuck to the side.
  4. Wearing an outfit you like can make a day 10x better.
  5. I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullshit.
  6. Do you ever start writing a status and halfway through you’re just like “nah”
  7. The biggest lie I’ve ever told myself is that I’m going to shower in 5 minutes.
  8. Girls literally find out everything and sometimes it’s just an accident like they don’t even need to try.
  9. The best way to die: Clint Eastwood shooting you while Morgan Freeman narrates it.
  10. Vodka is made from potatoes, potatoes are vegetables, and vegetables are good for you. You’re welcome…
  11. Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
  12. Sometimes a person is completely out of the picture but you just can’t let go of the frame.
  13. I hate when I’m set on running a yellow light and the person in front of me chickens out.
  14. Never trust a married guys opinion of who’s hot. It’s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
  15. Sexy is when a woman is hot enough to flaunt it but chooses not to.
  16. Whenever I’m bored I stop a stranger and ask “where am I?” and whatever they say I runaway screaming “Hahaha I’m a genius! I can teleport!”
  17. The secret to a successful lemonade stand is vodka.
  18. If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger.
  19. When asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
  20. Soccer would be much more interesting if the players had elbow/knee pads with 2 inch spikes on them.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Hypnotic Heheheh….

Sooooo, be honest… How long did you watch that for???

Dog loses his mind eating a Lemon…

He whips his head back and forth!

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Please check back on Monday for more funny status updates!