Make the weekend last longer, share one of these…
Top 20 Facebook Status Posts from this weekend:
- Ever update an app and realize the “fixed issues” were all a lie and it will never be the same? That’s what going back to an ex is like.
- There are 2 types of people in this world – people you drink with and people who you hang out with that make you want to drink.
- Sometimes I take a bath because it’s hard to drink wine in the shower.
- I’ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.
- The day I see a runner smiling is the day I’ll consider it.
- Whenever my wife sings I have to go outside. Not to get away from her, but to prove to my neighbors I’m not beating her.
- My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
- You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.
- If a political bumper sticker changes your views, please don’t vote.
- I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
- And then God said, “Seems unfair to have given man an extra limb so to balance it out I’ll give women the power over which to control it.”
- The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
- Why go to a therapist when a woman will explain everything wrong about you free of charge?
- Tupac has been dead for 18 years and still makes albums and you can’t text me back?
- Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
- If guys were smart, they’d forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food.
- Single September
Only Me October
No Man November
Don’t Date December
Yeah, I got this.
- You can’t regret anything in the morning if you sleep till noon. #ProblemSolver
- Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
- I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
When Mom Isn’t Home, Stuff Like This Happens…
Hilarious! You know the fun goes down when mom’s not around 🙂 If that wasn’t enough, try the remix.
Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. We’ll see you back on Monday for more Funny Facebook Status Updates 🙂