Halloween Status Updates 2014

Halloween on a Friday? That’s what I’m talking about! Share some laughs, share one of these…

Halloween Status Updates 2014:

  1. Asked my kid what her favorite part of today’s Halloween party and she pointed at thin air and said, “that ghost”…. Now I have to move houses.
  2. Halloween is, by far, the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch.
  3. I need to borrow someones kid for Halloween. I miss free candy.
  4. Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
  5. You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
  6. I’m surprised kids haven’t found a way to trick or treat online yet.
  7. Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
  8. For Halloween I’m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
  9. I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like “Ugh, tourists”.
  10. Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
  11. The main thing I learned from watching my wife carve pumpkins is she’s really good at stabbing things. I should probably be nicer to her.
  12. I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
  13. For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers.
  14. Halloween Costume Idea: Flower Print Scrubs, Skechers Shape-Ups, Perm. I call it “Not Sexy Nurse”
  15. I want to wear the scariest costume I can think of to work for Halloween this year, so I’m going as a pregnancy test.
  16. Halloween should just be changed to National Dress Like a Hoe Day.
  17. Best thing about Halloween is …you can wear whatever you want 😉
  18. Dear Girls : No Need To Do Anything For Halloween … Just Remove The Makeup And Go To The Party 😛
  19. Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween?
    Me: Drunk!
  20. Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
  21. How much fun it would be to own a lightsaber in a zombie apocalypse???

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

And, the Award for Best Kids Halloween Costume…

He’s so Bouncey!

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