Thursdays Funny Status Updates

Aloha!  Hope you’re having a great Thursday here is what you came here for….

Funny Status Updates for Facebook & Twitter:

  • If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App – Over 15,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
  • I am the world’s greatest authority on my own opinion.
  • When a man speaks, people listen, then look. When a woman speaks, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.
  • My doctor thinks I’m paranoid. He didn’t say it, but I knew that’s what he was thinking.
  • The word OK looks like a sideways person. ツ (Want more like this one?  “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for more funny content direct to your FB.)
  • Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
  • When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, “Give me a table near a waiter.”
  • Don’t tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.
  • “No iPods in school!” Yeah, because I’m gonna cheat off my test by listening to California Gurls.
  • What is the biggest lie ever? “I have read and agree to the terms of use”

Since I’ve been out of school, I’ve been to over 30 weddings. That’s like 15 miles of the electric slide, people.

Funny Picture to Post:

Awwww Jeez mom!  Stay off Facebook 🙂

Funny Video to Post:


Who doesn’t love them some good ole fashion Cat Yodeling.  That’s all for today folks, make sure to stop by tomorrow for the world famous weekend wrap-up! Need some more??  Get more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.