Super Bowl Appetizer, Cat Saves Doggie, and Terrific Status Ideas

Make your weekend super, share these…

20 Terrific Status Update Ideas:

  1. I didn’t call you crazy. All I said was, “you look like you might own 400 cats”
  2. With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
  3. I believe in equality. If we have five days of school, then we should have five day weekends as well.
  4. My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
  5. I wanna be skinny but pizza.
  6. I hate when I forget to press send on my phone, then sit and wait there for a reply like an idiot.
  7. Rich people stay rich by living like they’re broke.
    Broke people stay broke by living like they’re rich.
  8. They call it “Cash for Gold” because “Cash for all the Shit You Stole to Support Your Meth Habit” didn’t have the same ring to it.
  9. One of the major benefits of using a combined 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner is having enough room leftover on the shower caddy for the beer.
  10. List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
  11. These food stamps taste terrible.
  12. If you accept a penny for your thoughts, not only are you a philosophical prostitute. You’re not a very good one.
  13. If your password is “password,” then you might be a dumbass. Unlike me. My password is “dumbass.”
  14. I’m cutting the sleeves off my Snuggie because it makes me look more badass.
  15. I just bought an answering machine and it doesn’t work. Or maybe I’m just asking it the wrong questions.
  16. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Which means I have nineteen hours to do six months of flossing.
  17. I’d still choose rock over paper in a real fight.
  18. Why would vodka do this to me? I’ve always been so loyal
  19. I wanna get blank business cards and hand them out and call them my “none of your business” cards.
  20. I get blamed for everything. Looks like I have no choice but to run for president.

Yesterdays Status Updatesā€¦

Cat Saves Dog:


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