Make your weekend super, share these…
20 Terrific Status Update Ideas:
- I didn’t call you crazy. All I said was, “you look like you might own 400 cats”
- With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
- I believe in equality. If we have five days of school, then we should have five day weekends as well.
- My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
- I wanna be skinny but pizza.
- I hate when I forget to press send on my phone, then sit and wait there for a reply like an idiot.
- Rich people stay rich by living like they’re broke.
Broke people stay broke by living like they’re rich.
- They call it “Cash for Gold” because “Cash for all the Shit You Stole to Support Your Meth Habit” didn’t have the same ring to it.
- One of the major benefits of using a combined 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner is having enough room leftover on the shower caddy for the beer.
- List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
- These food stamps taste terrible.
- If you accept a penny for your thoughts, not only are you a philosophical prostitute. You’re not a very good one.
- If your password is “password,” then you might be a dumbass. Unlike me. My password is “dumbass.”
- I’m cutting the sleeves off my Snuggie because it makes me look more badass.
- I just bought an answering machine and it doesn’t work. Or maybe I’m just asking it the wrong questions.
- I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Which means I have nineteen hours to do six months of flossing.
- I’d still choose rock over paper in a real fight.
- Why would vodka do this to me? I’ve always been so loyal
- I wanna get blank business cards and hand them out and call them my “none of your business” cards.
- I get blamed for everything. Looks like I have no choice but to run for president.
Cat Saves Dog:
What a HERO! Share if you enjoyed that 😛
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