Need something funny to say? We got your back…
Killer Facebook Statuses:
- I just saved a bunch of money on valentines day by switching to single.
- A lot of people don’t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
- I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button & I’m still at school.
- What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
- It must be hard for Kanye to drive with all his rear view mirrors pointed at him.
- Log in to Australian Instagram to see the bottom half of your sunset photos.
- I oppose deporting Justin Bieber for his crimes. This is America, after all. We have the death penalty.
- “I’m not drunk!” is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
- I’m counting the past 2 hours lying on the couch not going to the gym as resistance training.
- A completely unattractive man is hitting on me at the bar. I’d drink until he’s cute but the bar closes in 9 hours.
- If you’re 17 and your 200 year old lover won’t turn you into a vampire so you can be together forever, he’s just not that into you.
- The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
- How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
- When I ask someone what their name is, why do I never actually listen to their answer?
- Lingerie is just expensive wrapping paper.
- I’ve lost most of my hearing, but it’s okay because it turns out the only thing people say to me is “nothing, nevermind.”
- I can buy my own sugar. What I need is an insurance daddy.
- “Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
- Ugly is such an ugly word. If you must describe me I’d prefer if you used the term “handsomely-challenged”
- Nobody gets treated worse than a fast food worker who gets an order wrong.
Full House Reunion on Jimmy Fallon…
Loved that show! Share if you did too 🙂