Shaq’s Revenge, Corgi Love, & Status Updates that get LIKES.

Step your Facebook game up, share these…

Status Updates that get LIKES:

  1. Enjoy the little things in life, because one day, you’ll look back and realize that they were actually big things.
  2. I’d rather have the girl from The Ring pop out of my TV than have that stupid “Congratulations you’ve won” voice ever scare the shit out of me again.
  3. Have you ever even watched MTV Cribs? I’m pretty sure we can keep downloading music without paying for it.
  4. I consider myself a crayon, sure I miqht not be your favorite color, but one day you will need me to finish your picture.
  5. I might not have a better idea, but that doesn’t make your idea good.
  6. Absolute truth: It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach, one human hair can support 3 kg, the length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb, woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s, women blink twice as much as men, body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still, while women have already read the whole text, men are still looking at their thumbs.
  7. So ‘Lol’ has become the new , ‘Yep I’ve got nothing to say’
  8. I see you drivin ’round town with a girl I love, and I’m like, it’s nice that she has alternative transportation.
  9. For all the effort I put into faking it, I should really just start writing down the confirmation number at the end of a phone call.
  10. If your name is John, your parents were just lazy when they named you.
  11. If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
  12. I was just thinking, what if car bumpers were filled with candy so if you got in a car crash, it would explode like a piñata. ” Sorry ’bout the crash, but look free candy!!!”
  13. Haters are like crickets. Crickets make a lot of noise, you hear it but you can’t see them. Then right when you walk by them, they’re quiet.
  14. When you have a baby, does a hormone in your body force you to make your baby your Facebook profile picture?
  15. It’s amazing how much more money I have when I’m drunk.
  16. Whenever I hear a lady in the next stall trying to unwrap a tampon as quietly as possible I want to yell “HEY IS THAT CANDY CAN I HAVE SOME?”
  17. Me and my bed are in a committed relationship, I think my alarm clock is just jealous of our love.
  18. Please tell me I’m not the only one who opens up their Hershey Kisses ever so gently so that the foil doesn’t tear.
  19. If you’re one of those people who say “quote, unquote” more than once a day, I hate you.
  20. It’s a lot easier to get over someone when you realize that you shouldn’t have been underneath them in the first place.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Adorbie Corgi:

Adorable Corgi Puppy

Totally, Adorbs. WANT! What personality on that pup 🙂 He’s going to grow right into being a

Shaq’s Revenge:

That was epic. Well done, Mr. Shaq. You’ve officially redeemed yourself for Kazaam.

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