Facebook Status Updates

Speed Painting, It’s Complicated, and Likeable Statuses

Editorial Team

592

Be interesting, share these…

20 Likeable Facebook Statuses:

Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
My bed is good for sleeping and great for helping me remember everything I was supposed to do.
Some people’s lack of swearing makes me uncomfortable.
My friend had bad luck with both his wives. The first one left him, and the second one didn’t.
The guy who decided how to spell bologna was clearly in over his head.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say “I haven’t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed”
Long story short, I love summaries.
The first rule of Thesaurus Club is you don’t talk about, mention, speak of, discuss or chat about Thesaurus Club.
Hey, companies. No one has their confirmation number. You’re the company, you do the work.
If you say “Starbucks” in the mirror 3 times, a girl in yoga pants will appear, steal your hoodie and tell you the best things about Fall.
I love my toilet. We’ve been through a lot of crap together.
This mop seemed a lot more exciting on the infomercial.
Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
That awkward moment when your bro actually tells a cool story.
There are many different ways one can save energy.
I normally use the couch.
Did you know that “Dammit I’m Mad” spelled backwards is “Dammit I’m Mad”
I’m so glad McDonalds doesn’t sell Hot Dogs…can’t imagine ordering a “McWeiner” and don’t get me started on “super size”
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…
Bored? Try explaining “bros before hoes” to your Mom, then have her use it in a sentence.
Instead of saying “hello” I answer the phone with “Well, I should probably let you go.”