Step your status game up, share these…
Facebook Status Book:
- Apparently my awesomitude outshines my kickassedness.
- I can’t believe that all these “single ladies in my area” want to meet me, must be due to all the “free Ipads” I’ve been winning.
- That awkward moment when you’re at your friend’s house and he is getting yelled at, so you just stand there and pet the dog.
- I’m so deep in the friendzone that I’ve met her boyfriend’s parents.
- Just ordered a round of waters for everyone at the bar.
- I need a part-time job that pays $30,000 a week.
- When you were a kid, “I’m going to tell your mom” was the scariest sentence ever.
- I get awkward when people compliment me “Nice hair” “Thanks, I grew it myself”
- Highly stressed people are more prone to chronic insomnia.
- Worlds Shortest Joke: 2 women were sitting quietly…
- I don’t procrastinate…I’ll prove it tomorrow.
- Everyone has that one friend that they address only by their last name.
- I’m always one bad decision away from a good time.
- As you get older you realize that the “cool” parents were actually just bad parents.
- True friends greet each other with an insult.
- Instagram now permits video uploads. So now you can not only upload a picture of your food, but a video of it going into your mouth.
- I’m not a stalker, I’m just bad with goodbyes.
- If someone is talking to themselves we think they’re crazy, but it’s normal to ask a dog questions and answer them out loud in baby talk?
- I have a sweet parking spot at the Mall. I’m just going to sit here for the next 10 minutes with my reverse lights on, pissing people off.
- Today’s forecast.. mostly cloudy with a 99.9% chance of alcohol.
Soldier Sings Rihanna (Awesome)
*Tear Drop* What a talented soldier! If you enjoyed that video – pass it along.