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Really Funny Facebook Statuses:

  1. Kim & Kanye naming their baby North West is like Alicia Keys naming her baby, Car Keys.
  2. The weather is so nice I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.
  3. Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
  4. Whenever I drive past the psychic’s empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.
  5. A woman always gets the last word in an argument, because anything a man says after that is the first words in a new argument.
  6. All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips.
  7. When cleaning my house: 2% Cleaning 30% Complaining 68% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
  8. To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
  9. I’ve been watching movies all wrong. Apparently, you’re supposed to guess out loud what’s going to happen next.
  10. Just saw 2 homeless people making out,was gonna yell”Get a room!!” But I caught myself just in time…
  11. Crazy? I was crazy once. My parents locked me in a round room and told me to sit in the corner. Corner? I couldn’t find a corner! That bugged me. Bugs? I hate bugs. They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once…
  12. My coworkers are looking at me like they’ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
  13. Marriage is like playing Monopoly. It starts out as fun, gets a little boring, then someone steals money from the bank and no one ever wins.
  14. Apologizing doesn’t mean that you’re wrong & the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your EGO.
  15. I think we could significantly cut down the number of different pasta shapes and still be okay.
  16. I’m really good at hiding things. From myself.
  17. Apparently, rush hour starts the second I put my key in the ignition, no matter what time I leave.
  18. When in doubt, procrastinate.
  19. You know how when you walk up a staircase in the dark and you can’t see where the last step is? I live for that feeling.
  20. I like to think that when you die, you get to see your stats and high scores like at the end of a video game.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS (Just Updated)

Redheads do it better:

Ginger Puppy Dog

Cute little Puppy is a natural redhead and she knows it!

Broom Kid (Weird)

That was strangely therapeutic. I dunno about you but, I watched it about a dozen times.

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