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Really Funny Facebook Statuses:
- Kim & Kanye naming their baby North West is like Alicia Keys naming her baby, Car Keys.
- The weather is so nice I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.
- Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
- Whenever I drive past the psychic’s empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.
- A woman always gets the last word in an argument, because anything a man says after that is the first words in a new argument.
- All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips.
- When cleaning my house: 2% Cleaning 30% Complaining 68% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
- To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
- I’ve been watching movies all wrong. Apparently, you’re supposed to guess out loud what’s going to happen next.
- Just saw 2 homeless people making out,was gonna yell”Get a room!!” But I caught myself just in time…
- Crazy? I was crazy once. My parents locked me in a round room and told me to sit in the corner. Corner? I couldn’t find a corner! That bugged me. Bugs? I hate bugs. They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once…
- My coworkers are looking at me like they’ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
- Marriage is like playing Monopoly. It starts out as fun, gets a little boring, then someone steals money from the bank and no one ever wins.
- Apologizing doesn’t mean that you’re wrong & the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your EGO.
- I think we could significantly cut down the number of different pasta shapes and still be okay.
- I’m really good at hiding things. From myself.
- Apparently, rush hour starts the second I put my key in the ignition, no matter what time I leave.
- When in doubt, procrastinate.
- You know how when you walk up a staircase in the dark and you can’t see where the last step is? I live for that feeling.
- I like to think that when you die, you get to see your stats and high scores like at the end of a video game.
Redheads do it better:
Cute little Puppy is a natural redhead and she knows it!
Broom Kid (Weird)
That was strangely therapeutic. I dunno about you but, I watched it about a dozen times.