Score more likes per share, with these…
Clever Status Posts for Facebook:
- I wish the dollar store sold gas. ( 100K+ Statuses: Funny Status 2 5★ Ratings)
- It’s so crazy how being tickled can go from fun to torture in a matter of seconds.
- No one is as good looking as their profile picture, and no one’s as ugly as their drivers license picture.
- Whenever people start getting too close to me I talk into my watch as I hold eye contact with them.
- I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind you…
- Can’t wait till I’m old and I can play the ‘fall asleep’ card in awkward situations.
- I miss the days when making a “duck face” required two Pringles. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
- When someone says to me great minds think alike, I just look at them and think “you dirty bastard”.
- Sarcasm: confusing stupid people and pissing off idiots everywhere.
- If someone says “This place is crackalackin!”, does that mean it’s lacking white people?
- Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
- I want to think positive but I know it won’t work.
- My boyfriend says he thinks that I might be a stalker…..Well, he’s not exactly my boyfriend yet…..
- Looking at Facebook is a convenient way to realize you can’t stand most of the people you sort of know. (Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
- I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty psyched about working full time for the next 60 years!
Genius! Spread the word on your Facebook newsfeed for more likes, comments, and good times in general.
Can’t stop… heart is melting… can’t look away! That is ridiculously cute and I want to share it with the world.