Parallel Parking, Underwater Doggie, & Awesome Status Updates

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Awesome Status Updates for Facebook:

• I need to start setting an alarm to go to bed. (*NEW* iPhone App: Funny Status 2 ★★★★★ )
• That awkward moment when “Prince Harry” is trending and you think of Harry Styles.
• If you’re constantly posting “loving my life!” as your Facebook status, you’re probably not.
• ‘K’ and ‘lol’ can just go and die.
• That awkward moment when you get out of the shower and you don’t have a towel.
• “In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!” – Woody Allen (Status scored 343+LIKES in 5minutes on Funny Status Fan Page )
• I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a problem with my attitude. That’s your problem, not mine.
• Unfortunately I cannot comment on your cool picture – already had too much Facebook activity today. If only you posted it tomorrow :/
• That awkward moment when you still cannot understand what someones trying to say after they repeated themselves about 4 times.
• GOOD ADVICE: Chill with all the planning. One of the most exciting things about life is not knowing what’s next.
• FACT: Your number of real friends is about 2% of all your Facebook friends.
• Here’s a good Healthcare Plan: Stop eating that shit. Get off your lazy ass, and get a little exercise.
• stop editing ya’lls pics. what if you go missing? how you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on facebook & chief keef in person.
• Todays Generation – “omg my parents never let me have nything.” via iPhone (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
• I’m interested to know what I’ve agreed to over the years by just nodding along when I couldn’t hear someone.
• Prince Harry’s new nickname… Dirty Harry.

Underwater Doggie:

Cutie! Repost for instant likes!

This is some Minnesota style Parallel Parking:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qM431_QmZw[/youtube]

Only in Minnesota does that go down! LOL 🙂 If you know someone who has trouble Parallel parking why don’t you drop this gem of a web-clip on their profile!