Share these to score more likes on FB this week…
Top Statuses on Facebook:
- Dear June, be good to me.
- I wish life had a “rewind-the-weekend” button.
- Whenever I delete text messages, I feel like I’m deleting evidence.
- A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves a thousand moments of regret.
- Pandora: *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* runs out of skips.. *changes station*
- I just can’t keep up with the Kardashians!
- Everything’s funnier when you’re not allowed to laugh.
- No one ever really wants to hear about the dream you had last night.
- Angelica Pickles was the original bad bitch.
- I liked it but it already had a ring on it.
- Nice outfit. Did it come with a pole?
- Too ugly for the people I want. Too hot for the people who want me.
- Okay restaurants. Enough with the clever bathroom signs. A simple M and F will do. Sincerely, drunk people.
- That 3D ultrasound photo of your baby is scaring the shit out of everyone. #FunnyCuzItsTrue
- Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
- Amanda Bynes just announced that she’s becoming a rapper. I honestly can’t tell if she’s crazy or if this is the best episode of Punk’d ever.
- I hate when someone calls my phone and asks “Who is this?” MoFo you called me. WHO IS YOU?
- 1 new message: runs for phone, jumps over sofa, runs a marathon, swims Atlantic ocean, pushes mom out the way. grabs phone….”k”
- I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have a normal sleeping pattern.
- *Phone on silent*. 10 missed calls. *Turns volume to loudest*. Nobody calls all day.
Mustache Cat is Quite Pleased….
Who doesn’t love getting their mustache serviced? A little mustache love goes a long way! Some might even say his Mustache is purrrfect.
Just Call the Police, Baby…
Talk about RANDOM! Could you imagine seeing that? Share if you thought that was nuts!