Monkey Riding Dog, Cutest Kitten Ever, and Funny Statuses

Make your Facebook friends laugh by posting these…

Funny Status Updates for the Weekend:

  • The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • A married man should forget his mistakes; There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
  • Alex, I’ll take ‘Things Only I Know’ for $200
  • Vegetarians and vegans spend entirely too much time trying to make vegetables taste like meat. You made your choice, now live with it hippie!
  • Bed and Breakfast: two things the kids will never make for themselves.
  • When I grow up, I want to spend 1/3 of my life sleeping, 1/3 staring at a computer in a tiny cubicle and 1/3 hating myself. (realistic kid)
  • Promises are like babies: fun to make, but hell to deliver. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
  • Eat and drink with your relatives; do business with strangers.
  • Don’t believe everything you think.
  • I love watching two girls meet each other. It’s easily the most fake thing I have ever seen.
  • Dijon vu: the feeling you’ve had this mustard before.
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor’s cute then forget the fruit!
  • I have the same body I’ve always had. Adjusted for inflation, of course… (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Gambling is an excellent way of getting nothing for something.

Relationship Status: We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong reason. But one thing is sure, mistakes help us to find the right person!

Monkey Riding Dog:

Monkey Riding Dog

Post that on your Facebook Wall and watch the comments & likes pour in.

Cutest Kitten Ever:


How freaking adorable! Your Facebook friends will absolutely melt when you post that one.

Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!