Make your Facebook friends laugh by posting these…
Funny Status Updates for the Weekend:
A married man should forget his mistakes; There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Alex, I’ll take ‘Things Only I Know’ for $200
- Vegetarians and vegans spend entirely too much time trying to make vegetables taste like meat. You made your choice, now live with it hippie!
- Bed and Breakfast: two things the kids will never make for themselves.
- When I grow up, I want to spend 1/3 of my life sleeping, 1/3 staring at a computer in a tiny cubicle and 1/3 hating myself. (realistic kid)
Promises are like babies: fun to make, but hell to deliver. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
Eat and drink with your relatives; do business with strangers.
Don’t believe everything you think.
- I love watching two girls meet each other. It’s easily the most fake thing I have ever seen.
Dijon vu: the feeling you’ve had this mustard before.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor’s cute then forget the fruit!
I have the same body I’ve always had. Adjusted for inflation, of course… (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
Gambling is an excellent way of getting nothing for something.
Relationship Status: We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong reason. But one thing is sure, mistakes help us to find the right person!
Monkey Riding Dog:
Post that on your Facebook Wall and watch the comments & likes pour in.
Cutest Kitten Ever:
How freaking adorable! Your Facebook friends will absolutely melt when you post that one.
Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!