Be a Facebook Celebrity by posting these…
Funny Status Updates:
- Getting my cat to “LOL” is a lot harder than it looks on the internet. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
If you think your boss is stupid, remember; you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.
- Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
- When I “rage against the machine” the machine is usually a printer.
- “Magnets destroy credit cards.” Not nearly as much as happy hours and women.
- Leaving Facebook for Twitter is like leaving the bar to go home.
- If we are what we eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
If you want your children to listen to you, try talking softly to someone else.
- There is little hope for the person who becomes addicted to cold turkey.
- Hey single ladies, you want a boyfriend? Easy! Learn to shut up and dramatically lower your standards!
- I’d like Facebook to suggest: Since you’ve just de-friended that loser, how about you get rid of some more deadweight, like ……
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
Instructions on how to keep an idiot busy: Read instructions again. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen, and stupidity.
- Yes, I read the Internet. But only for the articles.
Cute Status Update of the Day: You wanna know whos amazing & got the cutest smile ever? Read the first word again 🙂
Police Dog sniffed one too many suitcases…
I guess that’s better than sniffing what he usually does.
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