Be a Facebook Celebrity by posting these…
Funny Status Updates:
- Getting my cat to “LOL” is a lot harder than it looks on the internet. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
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If you think your boss is stupid, remember; you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.
- Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
- When I “rage against the machine” the machine is usually a printer.
- “Magnets destroy credit cards.” Not nearly as much as happy hours and women.
- Leaving Facebook for Twitter is like leaving the bar to go home.
- If we are what we eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
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If you want your children to listen to you, try talking softly to someone else.
- There is little hope for the person who becomes addicted to cold turkey.
- Hey single ladies, you want a boyfriend? Easy! Learn to shut up and dramatically lower your standards!
- I’d like Facebook to suggest: Since you’ve just de-friended that loser, how about you get rid of some more deadweight, like ……
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
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Instructions on how to keep an idiot busy: Read instructions again. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
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The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen, and stupidity.
- Yes, I read the Internet. But only for the articles.
Cute Status Update of the Day: You wanna know whos amazing & got the cutest smile ever? Read the first word again 🙂
Police Dog sniffed one too many suitcases…
I guess that’s better than sniffing what he usually does.
The Newest in Beer Technology:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeJPJDpq3-Y[/youtube]
Need more funny statuses, silly pics, and awesome videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!
