Funny Statuses + Police Dogs + Beer = Ruh Roh!

Be a Facebook Celebrity by posting these…

Funny Status Updates:

  • Getting my cat to “LOL” is a lot harder than it looks on the internet. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • If you think your boss is stupid, remember; you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.
  • Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
  • When I “rage against the machine” the machine is usually a printer.
  • “Magnets destroy credit cards.” Not nearly as much as happy hours and women.
  • Leaving Facebook for Twitter is like leaving the bar to go home.
  • If we are what we eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • If you want your children to listen to you, try talking softly to someone else.
  • There is little hope for the person who becomes addicted to cold turkey.
  • Hey single ladies, you want a boyfriend? Easy! Learn to shut up and dramatically lower your standards!
  • I’d like Facebook to suggest: Since you’ve just de-friended that loser, how about you get rid of some more  deadweight, like ……
  • Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
  • Instructions on how to keep an idiot busy: Read instructions again. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen, and stupidity.
  • Yes, I read the Internet. But only for the articles.

Cute Status Update of the Day: You wanna know whos amazing & got the cutest smile ever? Read the first word again 🙂

Police Dog sniffed one too many suitcases…

Police dog sniffed one too many suitcases.

I guess that’s better than sniffing what he usually does.

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