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Best Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- Dreams are just the brain’s Screensavers.
- When I was a kid, I hated going to bed. Now I cherish every hour of sleep.
- I wanted to try out my Spanish skills, so why not the Spanish version of instructions at the ATM, but then I was like- what if it gives me pesos?
- Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was tense.
- I cheated on my fears, broke up with my doubts, got engaged to my faith and now I’m marrying my dreams
- Just had to ask myself, “What would a competent person do in this situation?”
- I plan my nights around who I will be drinking with.
- A PT Cruiser is just a chastity belt you drive around.
- Every hero has that villain to keep them going.
- Yeah I talk to myself. It’s the only way I can have intellectual conversations.
- 99% sure my neighbors have seen me naked through my window at least 20 times.
- *looking at my old pictures*
Did I seriously look like this? how come no one told me?
- The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
- If someone describe something as “better than sex,” everything they say from then on is a lie.
- Enough with procrastination, it’s time for excuses.
- This status update is only available in English.
- How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
- Don’t tell me I’m insulting your intelligence when it’s obvious you have none.
- if you knock on my door and I say “yeah” it doesn’t mean “come on in!” it means “stay where you are and state your business.”
- If I don’t answer my phone the first time you call, calling 5 more times isn’t going to make me answer.
Previously we had the $500,000 winner, now we have the $1Million Dollar Winner:
How unbelievable is that?!?! Who guesses Tough Workout on the first try?!??! Amazing 🙂 Congratulations to her! Share if you enjoyed it.