Million Dollar Winner, Cat Wink, and Best Funny Status Updates

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Best Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

1. Dreams are just the brain’s Screensavers.
2. When I was a kid, I hated going to bed. Now I cherish every hour of sleep.
3. I wanted to try out my Spanish skills, so why not the Spanish version of instructions at the ATM, but then I was like- what if it gives me pesos?
4. Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was tense.
5. I cheated on my fears, broke up with my doubts, got engaged to my faith and now I’m marrying my dreams
6. Just had to ask myself, “What would a competent person do in this situation?”
7. I plan my nights around who I will be drinking with.
8. A PT Cruiser is just a chastity belt you drive around.
9. Every hero has that villain to keep them going.
10. Yeah I talk to myself. It’s the only way I can have intellectual conversations.
11. 99% sure my neighbors have seen me naked through my window at least 20 times.
12. *looking at my old pictures*
    me:
    me:
    me:
    me:
    me:
    me:
    me:
    Did I seriously look like this? how come no one told me?
13. The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
14. If someone describe something as “better than sex,” everything they say from then on is a lie.
15. Enough with procrastination, it’s time for excuses.
16. This status update is only available in English.
17. How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
18. Don’t tell me I’m insulting your intelligence when it’s obvious you have none.
19. if you knock on my door and I say “yeah” it doesn’t mean “come on in!” it means “stay where you are and state your business.”
20. If I don’t answer my phone the first time you call, calling 5 more times isn’t going to make me answer.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS (Just Updated)

Cat Wink:

Previously we had the $500,000 winner, now we have the $1Million Dollar Winner:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EucLUxbkJ4Y[/youtube]

How unbelievable is that?!?! Who guesses Tough Workout on the first try?!??! Amazing 🙂 Congratulations to her! Share if you enjoyed it.