Score easy likes, share these…
Tasty Statuses for Facebook:
- Anything you say will be used against you, in an argument, 10 months from now, because I’m a woman. And we never forget. Anything. Ever.
- That awkward moment when you hear yourself eating crunchy food, and wonder if other people can hear it too.
- Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other stuff wrong with my car I’d turn the radio down.
- Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.
- People who treat others like crap because they know they’ll stick around are the worst kind of people.
- No, you don’t have “haters”. People just don’t like you. Get over yourself.
- I am soon going to realize my dream of opening a combination hardware and sporting goods store…its name shall be…”Sport N’ Wood”
- Imagine this: you’re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers “Bless you” and hangs up.
- “That’s nice honey.” -Grandma’s version of ‘Cool story bro.’
- Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
- My life is one big “wow ok”.
- Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as “you should know this”
- Stop using “that is all” at the end of your posts. That is all.
- My ego persuades me to be a lot more confident than I should be.
- If you don’t have something nice to wear, then don’t wear anything at all.
- “Who is this I just got a new phone?” Really means I didn’t bother to store your number because you aren’t that important.
- Since it’s way too hard to get six pack abs, could we maybe collectively decide they’re gross instead?
- Five bucks says I’m totally broke.
- When I’m rich, I’m going to dictate my status updates to my secretary, and my butler will press the share button.
- A new study found that ESP could actually be real. I read about it in tomorrow’s paper.
This Cow is so EMO he doesn’t even care..
You wouldn’t even know what that song was about anyways.
EPIC Animal Voice Dubs:
I always knew Animals were saying some awesome things and now I can prove it. Share with your friends!