Score easy likes, share these…
Unique Status Updates for Facebook:
- Do not touch MY iPhone. It’s not an usPhone, it’s not a wePhone, it’s not an ourPhone, it’s an iPhone.
- The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
- Video Piracy warning says “You wouldn’t steal a car or money would to you!?” I would if I could download it.
- Don’t get sidetracked by people who are not on track.
- The only thing that appears correct on my paycheck is the amount I got paid is “gross.”
- Who remembers going on the computer just to go on paint and space pinball?
- Spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.
- It’s getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between hipsters and homeless people.
- Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
- Debating whether to wait for Candy Crush to give me another life or delete the game and get one myself.
- That awkward moment when you catch yourself singing a song that you’re supposed to hate.
- Back in my day, my mother would shout, “Get off the internet, I need to use the phone!”
- There’s no “share” in Nutella.
- Singing to a song you don’t really know…but that 15 second part you do know is coming, and you’re gonna kill it!
- Some people just need a pat. On the head. With a hammer.
- I’m having one of those unattractive days……… I mean years……. I mean lives.
- Come to think of it… I have never actually seen a yellow duck.
- Me: does one sit-up…….
Me: checks for abs
- Looking at a photograph and wishing you could re-live that moment over and over again.
- I’m home alone. Time to start my concert.
Nobody will every believe you that you saw him singing and dancing…
Nobody will ever believe you.
OK that is just plain weird. If you thought that was freakin’ weird, you should probably share it.