One of these is guaranteed to make you laugh….
20 Fun Facebook Status Posts:
- I want to be buried with a shotgun and a box of shells. Then someday I’ll be the most bad ass zombie ever.
- Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
- Sometimes I just need to lay on the couch and do nothing for three years.
- The older I get, the more badly I realize I need adult supervision.
- Sure, your prince might come. But just in case he doesn’t, God created cats and wine.
- I disagree that hunger isn’t an emotion. I feel it in my SOUL.
- Home is where I can look and feel ugly and totally enjoy it.
- Bitch, I know guac is extra.
- You can still get pizza in 30 minutes or less if you end every phone order with: “I’m 530lbs and Ill be wearing pants for 30 minutes ONLY.”
- 1 out of 5 people suffer from loneliness. So, if you look around and you don’t see the other 4 people, they’re out having fun without you.
- If I was homeless I would dress up as a Coinstar machine and just sit there.
- If you love someone, let them go before they ruin your life.
- You’re not a piece of sh*t. You’re the whole damn sh*t pie.
- I’m not a negative person. I’m positive I hate you.
- Hey, we never talked in high school! Let’s be Facebook friends so we can once again never talk! JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!
- You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
- You can’t wish for change if you’re not prepared for something new.
- There’s only two ways to start your drive thru order: Hi I’d like to order or Lemme get a uhhh.
- Everytime I see “ROFL”… I think of Scooby Doo trying to say “waffle”.
- The real reason I’m not a superhero…. Pockets, I need my pockets.
Guy Sings “Crazy” on Mexican Subway at Full Volume…
First I laughed, then I clapped. He was actually pretty good 🙂