Miley Cyrus, Crazy, and Fun Status Posts

One of these is guaranteed to make you laugh….

20 Fun Facebook Status Posts:

  1. I want to be buried with a shotgun and a box of shells. Then someday I’ll be the most bad ass zombie ever.
  2. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
  3. Sometimes I just need to lay on the couch and do nothing for three years.
  4. The older I get, the more badly I realize I need adult supervision.
  5. Sure, your prince might come. But just in case he doesn’t, God created cats and wine.
  6. I disagree that hunger isn’t an emotion. I feel it in my SOUL.
  7. Home is where I can look and feel ugly and totally enjoy it.
  8. Bitch, I know guac is extra.
  9. You can still get pizza in 30 minutes or less if you end every phone order with: “I’m 530lbs and Ill be wearing pants for 30 minutes ONLY.”
  10. 1 out of 5 people suffer from loneliness. So, if you look around and you don’t see the other 4 people, they’re out having fun without you.
  11. If I was homeless I would dress up as a Coinstar machine and just sit there.
  12. If you love someone, let them go before they ruin your life.
  13. You’re not a piece of sh*t. You’re the whole damn sh*t pie.
  14. I’m not a negative person. I’m positive I hate you.
  15. Hey, we never talked in high school! Let’s be Facebook friends so we can once again never talk! JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!
  16. You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
  17. You can’t wish for change if you’re not prepared for something new.
  18. There’s only two ways to start your drive thru order: Hi I’d like to order or Lemme get a uhhh.
  19. Everytime I see “ROFL”… I think of Scooby Doo trying to say “waffle”.
  20. The real reason I’m not a superhero…. Pockets, I need my pockets.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Guy Sings “Crazy” on Mexican Subway at Full Volume…

First I laughed, then I clapped. He was actually pretty good 🙂

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