Make Monday fun, share these…
Inventive Facebook Status Update Posts:
- Every time you have McDonald’s as a kid, it’s a victory. Every time you have it as an adult, it’s a defeat.
- Why would a straight guy hate gay guys? Here’s a group of men who look better than you.. but don’t even want women. You should be glad.
- It’s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it’s that only 10% of people use their brains.
- Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.
- You had me at 0 mutual friends.
- If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don’t f*cking deserve string cheese.
- Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
- Good friends are like stars. They are so far away, but you know they are always there to give a twinkle during your darkest days.
- I find a lot of people physically attractive, but finding people mentally and spiritually attractive is different and much harder for me.
- You’ll end up real disappointed if you think people will do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you.
- I’m a bad mofo until I see a puppy.
- Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
- If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.
- Good things come to those who wait. Better things come if you stop f*cking around and make shit happen.
- In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
- Creepy: People who request middle seats on airplanes.
- You’d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
- You should feel safe in a gas station bathroom because if anyone messes with you just beat them with whatever is hooked to the key.
- Heck is where you go if you don’t believe in Gosh.
- If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I’m very skilled at shooting aliens this way
Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…
Elephants Dancing to Violin:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaFaelwEaL4[/youtube]
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