Donuts, Best Beer Commercial, and Clever Facebook Statuses.

Make your weekend last longer, share these…

20 Clever Facebook Statuses for the Weekend:

  1. New Rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I am guaranteed at least one attempt at trying to trip you.
  2. We take the naps we think we deserve.
  3. I wonder if anyone ever looks at me while I’m doing something and thinks I’m pretty. Because I do that all the time to people.
  4. Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
  5. I’d call you a tool, but even they serve a purpose.
  6. Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of shit going on?
  7. I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.
  8. Be good to yourself, you’re all you’ve got.
  9. I am NEVER snotty or rude to somebody when I first meet them. People have to earn that shit.
  10. If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
  11. I know I’m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
  12. We live in a society that’s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
  13. Eventually we’ll all just have one app on our phones that electrocutes you when you stop looking at it.
  14. “Do you have a charger?” is the new “Could I bum a cigarette?”
  15. Don’t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex’s name tattooed.
  16. The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
  17. I need a hallmark card that says “Sorry for the things I’ve said about your girlfriend I didn’t know you were gonna get back together again”
  18. If I’m ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand.
  19. If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
  20. What if you woke up with amnesia & all you could remember was your Facebook password & you had to discover who you were based off your updates.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Best Beer Commercial,Perhaps Ever:

Kind of makes you want a beer, doesn’t it?

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