Man without a Facebook, Melting Dog, and Funny Statuses

Best Status Updates on the net…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • Make yourself at home… clean my kitchen! (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist.
  • I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
  • My action figure would come with action sold separately.
  • I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning but now how it applies to me.
  • Well, I see no one turned up for first day of ninja school… or did they?
  • Home is where you can say anything you like ’cause nobody listens to you anyway. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 100+ LIKEs in 5min)
  • They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken.
  • I hate when im making a milkshake & boys randomly show up in my yard..
  • I’m speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I was going, Officer.
  • The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
  • Excuses are the easiest things to manufacture, and the hardest things to sell.
  • I don’t think I’ve ever been told I’m a bad listener.
  • Never believe anything until it’s been officially denied.
  • If you didn’t get caught, did you really do it?
  • Very few things upset my wife. It makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
  • It isn’t the pace of life that concerns me. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
  • Some open minds should be closed for repairs. (Our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  • I am actually quite pleasant until I’m awake.
Lots More Status Updates…

I know it’s hot out right now but, apparently it’s so hot this poor dog is melting…

Melting Dog

What a cute dog!

The Man without a Facebook:


Haha! Soon this might be a real movie… Post this on your Facebook wall for funny comments & tons of LIKEs.

Need more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our *NEW* Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from! We’ll see you on MONDAY for more Funny Statuses!!!