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20 Random & Hilarious Status Posts:
- The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.
- That awkward moment when you tell your parents something funny, but it turns into a life lesson.
- Twinkie’s could survive a nuclear attack, but not the economic collapse. That’s like pollution getting so bad that cockroaches go extinct.
- I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
- Love is like working out it hurts really bad until you just give up and eat a cake.
- Panda Bear: /”’ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ/”’
- I believe in love at first sight because… I’ve loved my mum since I opened my eyes!
- How about we start being thankful everyday, and have a holiday once a year called Complainsgiving?
- I love those people you can joke around with and have so much fun with and then have a deep conversation with and it’s not weird at all.
- I just don’t have enough middle fingers for today.
- I just can’t stop thinking of all the people who signed my yearbooks that I have let down by failing to “stay cool”
- Please shift gears…You’re stuck on stupid again.
- I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
- I didn’t do it! Unless I was supposed to do it. Then of course I did it!
- That awkward moment when you really want to talk to someone, but don’t know how to continue the conversation.
- I FINALLY found a machine at the gym I like: the vending machine!
- Always remember you’re unique…just like everyone else.
- Don’t talk about yourself so much- we’ll do that when you leave.
- Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.
- Sometimes I feel like only Google understands what I’m trying to say…
Cute Pet Picture Attempt Gone Badddddd…
Wow, that is terrifying!
Cookies win. Every. time.
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