Howling Lessons, Drunk Chicks, and Seriously Funny Statuses

Step your status game up, share these…

Seriously Funny Statuses:

  1. I’m not anti-social I’m just pro leave me the heck alone.
  2. Well, the people outside are frightful.
  3. The happiness of your life…depends on the quality of your thoughts.
  4. Oh, you can’t sleep? Why not tell everyone on Facebook? That’ll help.
  5. I’m not crazy, my reality is just prettier than yours.
  6. After reading your recent updates, I’m surprised that Facebook hasn’t yet asked you, “Whatever’s on your mind, could you keep it to yourself?”
  7. If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your ass.
  8. Attention all crackheads, it is a very bad time to ask me if I have any “spare change” when I’m pumping 4 dollar a gallon gas into my car.
  9. I only say “bless you” twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you’re a demon who must be destroyed.
  10. Oh, you’re dating my ex? Cool, I’m eating a sandwich. Want those leftovers too?
  11. To all the people who failed out of high school, just remember 2 things: 1) At least you tried your best, and 2) I said NO tomatoes on my burger!
  12. I like a song. I download it. I listen to it a million times and then I hate it.
  13. This morning when I awoke I rolled over, smiled at the beauty that was there beside me , gazed into those beautiful brown eyes and said, “Good Morning Sexy.” I knew it was a good idea to install that mirror by the bed.
  14. When I want your opinion, I’ll give it a funny voice.
  15. Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
  16. Insomnia, the universe’s way of making sure your never too old to watch looney tunes at 5am. well played universe.
  17. The closest that I’ve gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop…
  18. If we are walking towards each other on the sidewalk, do not try to intimidate me. I VEER FOR NO ONE.
  19. After a night of heavy drinkin’ there’s one thing I can’t stand… and that’s up.
  20. What is it like to not be tired? …I can’t remember.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Husky Learns to Howl with His Human:


Dawwww, that’s adorable! Share if you enjoyed 🙂

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