Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…
Top Rated Facebook Status Updates this week:
- Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.
- Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you’re so damn funny.
- So many concerts, not enough money.
- Can I apologize in advance for basically everything I will ever do???
- There’s no such thing as too old for Disney.
- “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
- They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.
- You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn’t notice… until they needed to wink at somebody.
- CEO: “Ugh this cereal is disappointing and makes me wanna cry. What should we call it?”
Phil: “Life?” - You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
- Watching a guy put on chapstick is like staring into the sun.
- Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
- I don’t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He’s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here.
- The LIKE button: also for choosing sides in a Facebook argument without saying anything.
- This is how my week goes: Mooooonnnnnddaaaaaaaaay Tueeeesssdaaaaaaayyyyy Weeedddnnnesssdayyyyy Thursssssdaaaaaaaayyyyy FridaySaturdaySunday.
- Why I wear thick, fluffy socks: 1% Comfort 1% Warmth 98% Increased ability to slide across floor like a fricken ninja on an invisible surfboard.
- Something Video Games teach us: ” If you meet your enemies, it means that you are going in the right direction. Don’t back down now!”
- Smile like you’ve never cried, fight like you’ve never lost, love like you’ve never been hurt, and live like you’ll die tomorrow.
- My head says “go to the gym” but my heart says, “stay on the internet forever and eat!”
- I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons.
Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…
Good Morning Pugs:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmX1V6_gukY[/youtube]
That’s what we call pure love. I wish I could wake to that every morning.
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