Ugh Monday, share one of these and brighten someones day…
20 Hilarious Status Updates for a Monday:
- Do you ever just break out in song when you hear a certain word?
- We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we’re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet.
- Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
- The number of people that confuse ‘to’ and ‘too’ is two damn high.
- Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
- Mario Bros. Plumbing ★☆☆☆☆ (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
- Why can’t plane tickets be like 10 dollars?
- Back in my day, you had to go to channel 3 to play video games.
- It’s like my love life is the Oscar’s and I’m Leonardo DiCaprio.
- The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa.
- If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.
- Hey food marketers, “100% natural” means nothing. Cowshit is 100% natural but I’m not eating that. Not without sprinkles or something.
- Having a sarcastic conversation with yourself when people are ignoring you.
- My puzzle of life is put together just like I did puzzles as a kid, by jamming the pieces together even if they didn’t fit.
- All gas station bathrooms are required by law to look like the set of one of the “Saw” movies.
- Don’t worry, kids. Being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
- I react to “Someone has tagged a photo of you…” in the same way I react to a doctor saying, “Your test results came back…”
- Maybe if we over-paid our teachers and under-paid our Pop artists there would better education and less bad music.
- If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I’d probably give up.
- At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
I Smell Like Beef…
Odds are you probably watched that one 3 times… if you’re normal. Probably 10x if you’re crazy… which you are.
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