The Top Goods on FB this week…
Top Facebook Statuses:
- Don’t be afraid to be open-minded. Your brain isn’t going to fall out.
- I’m pretty sure that it’s easier to leave most street gangs than it is to cancel a membership to L.A. Fitness.
- Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning.
- I think that a butt-dial is a polite form of booty-call.
- Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells FUCK really loud then people scurry like mad.
- People say ‘hate’ is such a strong word, yet they throw around ‘love’ like it’s nothing.
- I tell people I hate chocolate and they try to give it to me to convert me. I should tell people I hate tempur-pedic beds and orgasms.
- Saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as “grabbing for swirling dollars inside a plexiglas Cash Cube.”
- Drinking beer is like pouring smiles on your brain.
- If she replies to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of just getting offended…. She’s a keeper!
- Jealousy is something you’re good at when you think you suck at everything.
- I see subway employees are still having their “how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich” contest.
- Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks I’m not reading it.
- Thinks the toaster should give some sort of an indication when its going to pop instead of scaring the **** out of me when it does.
- Excuse me lady in the check out line in front of me purchasing both a box of condoms and a pregnancy test…..How’s your day going?
- Every time I seen an abandoned shoe on the highway it makes me sad that I’ve never partied that hard.
- Cat hair is lonely people glitter.
- Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
- I’m more of a dog person because if I have to feed something and clean up its poo I want it to be obsessed with me.
- I was told I needed to do some soul searching… so I Googled James Brown.
Sure, come on in… you can have whatever you like 🙂
Kitten Sounds Like a Goat:
ROFL, that’s just hilarious! Instashare with your Facebook friends, their comments will surprise you.