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Top Facebook Status Updates about Life:
- This month has five Fridays, five Saturdays, and five Sundays but only FOUR Mondays. You’re welcome!
- That awkward moment when the weirdest person in your school gets a girlfriend/boyfriend, and you’re still forever alone.
- “Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you’re right.” -Ricky Gervais
- Don’t let idiots ruin your day.
- Wonder if anyone actually acts like a crazy racist nutjob to avoid jury duty.
- Don’t talk to me about bravery until you’re watching a horror film, alone in bed, with one leg out of the covers.
- Here’s a cool emoticon: (V) (;,;) (V) it’s ZOIDBERG!!
- This guy came up to me and said he needed a glass of water but his pants were on fire so, he probably was lying about needing it.
- I have Attention Deficit Disorder. I get distracted easily because my head… SHOULDERS, KNEES, AND TOES! KNEES AND TOES!
- FACT: Mimes always scream when you kick them in the balls.
- Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.
- If you could choose between ending World Hunger or Bill Gates’ money, what color would your Lamborghini be?
- Sometimes you have to forgive and forget. Forgive them for hurting you and forget that they exist. Move on!
- Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
- The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during sex.
- If I ever say the phrase “okie dokie artichokie” to you, it means I’m wearing a wire.
- Under no circumstances shall a call be made to another male after 2 a.m., unless its to get bailed out of jail.
- I hate when people say, ” I gotta get my body right for the summer”..like, wtf are going to do about your face??
- The only reason why people hold onto memories is because memories are the only things that don’t change when everyone else does.
- It’s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
This Kitty Must Practice Cat-Yoga:
Either that or the kitty eats a well balanced diet 🙂 Share this webgem with your Facebook friends for instant likes, comments, and general awesomeness.
Guy Has a Laughing Fit On Air:
Classic! That’s a must share video right there 🙂 In case you were wondering that host, Chris Pirillo now has his own Youtube show that’s pretty darn good for tech related stuff.